Your go-to parenting guide! Learn how embracing your child's uniqueness and nurturing their interests can lead to their happiness and success.
What you will learn -
Parenting is a wild ride, isn't it?
One minute, you're celebrating their first steps; the next, you are wondering how to deal with a big tantrum over something your child wants, but you cannot or will not allow.
It's a bit like walking a tightrope. On one side, you've got your own hopes and dreams for your children; on the other, there's your child’s unique personality that may or may not align with your plans.
You argue that you know best. After all, you know them inside out. They share your genes, so you do have a good understanding of what their inherent strengths and weaknesses are.
You’re right. But only partially.
A study talks about how your kids' development is influenced by their genes (the attributes they inherit from you) and their environment (the world they grow up in, including but not exclusive to your home environment). There are lots of arguments about whether personalities are shaped by DNA or by life experiences, but clearly it's not genetics vs environment argument. Both play a significant role in shaping your child’s energy levels and choices.
So, what's the advice to new parents?
Well, it's simple. Every kid is one-of-a-kind, and the best parenting style is to help them discover and embrace who they are, not who you want them to be. By doing this, you’re paving the way for your child to be happy, healthy, and true to themselves. At the end of the day, isn't that exactly what you want for your kids?
Let’s start by understanding how natural growth affects the upbringing of your child.
Contrary to what prior generations believed, to be a good parent today means nurturing your child’s unique traits, rather than moulding a mini-you into existence and stifling your child in the bargain. Parents can sometimes get too involved and push their own expectations on their children, which is the cause of most parenting problems.
That doesn’t mean that you need to relinquish all control and all your efforts toward raising your child.
Your child still needs you to help them overcome behaviours that hinder growth and to help them use their individuality to live happier, more successful lives.
Your child also relies on you to enable their journey of self-discovery. That’s one of the reasons why new-age parenting is often about making use of technology to identify inherent skills, interests, and also struggles. Self-discovery tools like the OCEAN model of personality and DNA testing are go-to solutions for parents who take this part of their parental responsibility seriously.
Shoving your own interests down your child’s throat is counterproductive, but that doesn’t mean you leave them to find their own way independently. It is your duty to enable your child to discover and nurture their inherent abilities. Here's how you can go about it:
Notice your child’s interests
Ever noticed how your child's eyes light up when they're drawing? Have you noticed how they get completely engrossed when they are trying to understand the inner workings of gadgets? These seemingly fleeting interests could be cues about their natural talents.
Why not encourage them to delve deeper into these passions instead of trying to get them to listen to your idea of what they should do or should be interested in?
Provide opportunities
Ever thought about how you can provide a launchpad for your child's talents? It could be as simple as providing the right resources, signing them up for classes, or just allowing them to pursue their interests in their own time and space without the pressure of performing or winning.
A Researchgate review studied mobile apps for child development support and suggested that digital tools can also be a valuable resource for providing diverse learning opportunities. So, why not leverage technology to fuel your child's curiosity and learning? It's about creating an environment that lets their talents bloom.
An online play-based parenting program positively affected child development, suggesting that playful, interactive learning can be a powerful tool in nurturing a child's talents.
Provide continuous encouragement
As a parent, you're uniquely positioned to be your child's biggest cheerleader and their most helpful coach. Celebrate their victories, big and small, but also guide them in understanding where to improve.
If you are looking for ways to understand your children even better, you must consider attending parenting workshops. It can help improve your parenting skills and offer you expert guidance on how to raise a child. Good parenting isn't a natural instinct like prior generations believed.
Parenting workshops help you take a good, hard look at your biases and lead you to explore different ways of parenting. But that's not all. They also help you understand your child's needs on a deeper level and connect with other parents who can become a source of support.
You want your child to listen because you want them to achieve their true potential. However, maybe the best way to do this is to lean into their inherent strengths and interests. Genetic testing can help you uncover what makes your child tick. Genetic testing uses your child’s DNA to identify their inborn talents, strengths and abilities.
It's like getting X-ray vision into what your child thinks and feels in various instances so that you can work with them to achieve positive outcomes,
When your child is ignoring you:
Get close to your child, and make eye-level contact. This improves the connection and humanizes what your child otherwise sees as orders.
Another tip is to keep your instructions short and simple. Use declarative, firm sentences which are straight to the point. Your child doesn’t need a moral-based story for everything. Simply saying, “Your little sister doesn’t like you drawing on her dolls just like you wouldn’t like her putting glitter on your action figures,” can be enough.
When your child is angry with your “always saying no”:
Stop saying “no”. And while you’re at it, also stop saying “don’t”. We’re not saying that you should let your child go wild. Instead, simply try to frame your sentences positively. Instead of “No!” when they ask if they can go to an indoor park today, say, “Sounds like fun, I can’t wait! Shall we go next weekend when I’ve got a holiday?”
When your child says you’re “ruining their life”:
It sounds like you’ve got a pre-teen or teen on your hands. Consider letting them experience the consequences of their actions in instances where the consequences aren’t going to be dire. For example: Let them stay out late and not finish a project on time, so they understand how horrible it feels to get in trouble at school.
When your child says you’re too bossy:
Try saying thank you in advance. This makes you seem less bossy and also gives your child fuel to live up to your expectations. They’ll want to be worth that pre-emptive thank you.
Good parenting is all about deliberate decision-making. As parents, we often need to shape our kids into a certain mould, right? But what if you shift your focus a bit?
What if you could celebrate and nurture your child’s individuality instead of trying to fit them into a box? Your child is unique; recognising and supporting their unique skills and interests can boost their self-esteem, happiness, and personal growth. Maybe you should be listening to them when it comes to their interests and skills, instead of trying to get them to listen to you.
With Genleap’s unique triangulation of genomics, astromancy, and psychometrics, you will get a full picture of your child’s inner self which will help them succeed in life. Discover your child’s inherent interests and skills instead of guessing or shooting in the dark. End tussles with your child when both of you automatically agree on what will work for them. Leave it to science to help figure it out!